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TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

I like you, he said. ‘Have you ever been in a relationship?’ was the question that followed. It

made her uncomfortable. ‘Did you do anything with you ex?’ ‘How many times did you guys

kiss?’ This is how a toxic relationship starts, when a person prioritize his ego over anything

and anybody. A toxic relationship comes in all shape, color and gender. It is a two way

passage as one dominates the other and the later tolerates the dominance. Often people do not realize the seriousness of the level of toxicity they are in, which makes it more difficult for them to see through.

Although toxic relationships are of numerous types, here I would like to distinguish them

into two major types. One is the “savior-saved relationship”; here one of the partners tends to search for a savior in their corresponding half and when the other half somehow fails to save and provide the required support that is when the tension rise. The second type of toxic relation is the “victim-blamer relationship”. This sort encompasses a specific category of people who deny taking the responsibility of their actions and problems; they often play the blame game. They obscure their failures with their pretentious nature. Usually they consider factors like traumatic childhood, previous heart breaks, temperament etc. etc. to justify their toxic behavior.

Moving on with the topic I would like to spread some light on signs. What are these signs

that one can mark, while being in a relationship? There are these multiple red flags that one

must not avoid in a relationship.

● He/she doesn’t let me make new friends BUT he/she loves me; He slapped me that

day BUT he cares too; she checks my phone and invades my privacy BUT that’s just

concern.

-if you find yourself blabbering any such statements, mind you my friend BUTs and

LOVE don’t go along.

● She uses my Instagram; He has my Facebook password; we share our pin. We trust

each other.

-this isn’t how you secure trust. Trust is the basic foundation of an honest

relationship. It builds with time. Sharing personal and private information is

nothing but jeopardy.

● I cannot imagine staying apart from him even for a minute. We shop together, eat

together, and study together, party together. I don’t like sharing him.

-strong bonds require two grown up individuals. Giving required space to your

partner and yourself strengthens the bond in-between. One should always cultivate her

own individuality.

● How can she leave me? We had sex. We were intimate. I will destroy you if you dare

to leave me.

“SEX IS NOT A PROMISE” (Mayanadi; 2017); First and foremost people need to

understand this. People are not bound to people not even to one’s own blood, we are

free. Yes love ends, yes it fades and that doesn’t mean that we can force the other half

to stay. One’s incapability to move on, so much so that they wish to dictate the other

half’s life is the most screwed form of toxicity I have ever seen.

It is essential to notice there aforesaid red flags but it is also OK to make mistakes. Do

not punish yourselves for being in a toxic relationship, learn to prioritize and respect

yourself. “Love sets your soul free”.

BY SUKANYA MISHRA

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